- "You see what he's doing right. He's trying to get us to compete so we work faster. He thinks this wall of Psych 101 MBA mind-control bullshit is going to motivate us."
- ―Dinesh Chugtai
Erlich hires a convicted felon and graffiti artist, Chuy, to create a new logo for Pied Piper and to paint it on the incubator garage, but Chuy's creation depicts Dinesh having sexual intercourse with the Statue of Liberty because he believes Dinesh is of Latin descent.
Pied Piper gains entry to the TechCrunch Startup Battlefield, a technology conference that pits unseeded startup companies against each other, with $50,000 as the grand prize - the only problem is, Pied Piper is not unseeded, and this angers Peter. Richard suggests withdrawing from the Battlefield, but Belson beats him to it and announces the release of Nucleus will take place at the Battlefield, and due to Peter's intense rivalry with Belson, he refuses to allow Pied Piper to withdraw and tells them to have a finished demo for the Battlefield in eight weeks.
Erlich takes Dinesh and Gilfoyle on a quest to find graffiti artist Chuy Ramirez and convince him to create the Pied Piper logo. Erlich wants Chuy to give Pied Piper a cool vibe, but the artist demands stock options because a friend of his got them when he created murals for Facebook. While Erlich negotiates with Chuy in an alley, Dinesh and Gilfoyle wait with the car. Chuy spots Dinesh and says that he thinks it’s cool that Pied Piper hired a Latino. Erlich doesn’t correct the artist about Dinesh’s true ethnicity because that seems to be the thing that made Chuy agree to work on a logo.
Erlich promised Chuy $10,000 for the logo, but Jared points out that Pied Piper is going to run out of money long before the product is ready, even without spending on the logo. Jared further freaks out when he learns that Pied Piper has been accepted to TechCrunch Disrupt Startup Alley, a move that doesn’t make sense for the company since it’s already been funded. Richard explains to Jared that he put the application in long ago and forgot about it.
Big Head is in Gavin Belson’s office for a meeting where the boss’ underling executives are planning to beam him in via holographic technology, which turns out to be rather fraught with glitches. Gavin grills Big Head on why Richard would be taking Pied Piper to TechCrunch Disrupt, but of course, Big Head doesn’t have much info.
Jared wants Erlich and Richard to define Pied Piper’s corporate culture, causing Dinesh and Gilfoyle to balk at the mention of cubicles. Jared also announces that he can also do the Pied Piper logo himself -- and save the company $10,000. He draws two lower-case Ps on a piece of paper, sending Erlich into a rage. Meanwhile, Chuy arrives to work on the logo.
Peter Gregory is having lunch at a restaurant with Monica when Gavin Belson unexpectedly walks through the door. The guys have an awkward conversation where Gavin tells Peter that he offered to give the keynote speech at Tech Crunch Disrupt, which he will also use to unveil Pied Piper’s big competition, Nucleus. Richard later tells Monica he’s going to pull Pied Piper out of TechCrunch Disrupt, and she informs him that he can’t because of Gavin and Peter’s rivalry. Richard comes to realize that he’s just a pawn between these two. Tech Crunch Disrupt is just two months away, which means that Pied Piper has to be ready much sooner than the five months that was originally planned for development.
At the hacker hostel, Chuy’s Pied Piper logo -- which is painted on the Hacker Hostel’s garage door -- depicts a Latino Dinesh having anal sex with the Statue of Liberty. Erlich tries to be gentle in his revision notes, but Chuy is mad and only ends up changing Dinesh to be Pakistani and putting Erlich’s face on the Statue of Liberty. The police arrive and tells Erlich he has to remove the art. In an attempt to fix the problem, Richard puts up the garage door, which only reveals Erlich’s pot. The police say they have to take the weed with them.
Jared institutes Scrum for the Pied Piper guys, in an effort to increase productivity and communication about projects. The tactic instantly works, as Gilfoyle and Dinesh compete to finish their tasks before the other.
Pied Piper settles on a new, lower-cased logo, while it’s revealed that Chuy sold his original Pied Piper design for $500,000….to Gavin Belson, who hangs it in the Hooli offices. Monica arrives at the Hacker Hostel to apologize for her part in Richard’s pawn situation, and she says she believes in the company.
Main cast Edit
- Thomas Middleditch as Richard Hendricks
- T. J. Miller as Erlich Bachman
- Josh Brener as Big Head
- Martin Starr as Bertram Gilfoyle
- Kumail Nanjiani as Dinesh Chugtai
- Christopher Evan Welch as Peter Gregory
- Amanda Crew as Monica Hall
- Zach Woods as Jared Dunn
Supporting cast Edit
- Jill E. Alexander as Patrice
- David Daskal as IT guy
- Marc Fajardo as Waiter
- Teddy Lane Jr. as Police Officer
- Rogelio T. Ramos as Another Executive
- Anthony 'Critic' Campos as Chuy
- Scott Prendergast as Scott
- Bernard White as Spiritual Advisor
- Matt Ross as Gavin Belson
- Erlich: [about Jared's logo] Are you fucking serious? Lowercase letters? Twitter, lowercase "t"; Google, lowercase "g"; Facebook, lowercase "f". Every fucking company in the Valley has lowercase letters! Why? Because it's safe. But we're not gonna do that. We're gonna go with Chuy, unless any of you gringos want to go out there and tell a guy with three assault convictions that we're not going to give him the money we promised him. Hm? That's what I thought.
- Waiter: Are you enjoying you asparagus, sir?
Peter: I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.
- Jared: Take Dinesh and Gilfoyle, they're wasting an enormous amount of time arguing. What if we were to separate them? Divide their existing work space into two areas. We could put in some kind of portable barrier...
Gilfoyle: He's talking about cubicles!
Dinesh: We're not doing cubicles, no way!
Jared: No, no, don't think of it as a cubicle. Think of it as a neutral-colored enclosure about yay-high around your work space. [Everyone stares at Jared] Okay, fine. But do you know who uses cubicles? Every single Fortune 500 company. Why? Because they work.
- Richard: Doesn't Peter Gregory want what's best for the company?
Monica: Look, I'm going to be straight with you. Peter Gregory doesn't care.
Erlich: Wait. Just him, or both of us?
Monica: Any of you; Pied Piper.
Richard: Okay, uhh, then why did he back us? Just to piss off Gavin Belson? He spent $200,000 to piss of Gavin Belson?
Monica: Yeah, that's nothing. Peter would spend millions just to mildly annoy Gavin. These are billionaires, Richard. Annoying each other means more to them than we'll make in a lifetime.
Richard: I see. And you conveniently forgot to mention any of this when you were convincing me to turn down 10 million dollars. And now I'm in the middle of some pissing contest between two billionaires?
Monica: In fairness, Gavin only offered the $10 million because we started pursuing you.
Richard: Yes, but he offered it to me, Monica. He offered 10 million dollars! And I didn't take it because you came to me when I was puking and freaking out and told me that Peter Gregory believed in me, when in reality, he didn't give a flying fuck!
Richard: I didn't turn down 10 million dollars because of Peter Gregory, Monica. I turned it down because of you! [storms out]
Erlich: However angry he is, I am one tenth as angry. Because one of the 10 million would have been mine, because I own 10%...
Monica: I know.
Erlich: ...of Pied Piper.
Monica: I know!
- Gilfoyle: I have masturbated to heighten my focus. I have a 15 minute refractory period.
- [Richard opens the garage door to reveal Erlich's marijuana farm]
Erlich: No, no, no! Close it! Look at this left from the previous tenant. Unbelievable. I can't believe I didn't enter the garage until this point. I mean, is that marijuanas?
- Monica: It's Chuy Ramirez? I'm impressed. He sold a mural today for a half-million bucks.
Erlich: It wasn't on a garage door, was it?
- Gilfoyle: He's trying to turn us into corporate rock, Richard. We are punk rock.
Dinesh: Actually, you know, I think a better analogy would be jazz. Like we riff and improvise around a central theme to create one cohesive piece of music.
- Erlich: I am not a racist, all right? I watch a lot of black porn. I mean, a lot.
Dinesh: One question. In this porn, is the man black, or the woman black, or are they both?
Erlich: Is one of those racist, and the others aren't?
Gilfoyle: I'll hack his browser history. We'll get to the bottom of this.
- Gavin: Fuck you! The audio's still working! Audio worked a hundred fucking years ago, you fucking piece of shit!
- [Erlich and Richard see Chuy's logo]
Erlich: What the good fuck?
[The logo is shown to be Dinesh in Aztec dress and having anal sex with the Statue of Liberty]
Richard: What is happening, is that Dinesh?
Erlich: Is that the Statue of Liberty, and its... there's penetration.
- Erlich: You know our prized coder, he's not really Latino.
Erlich: Point of fact is he's Pakistani.
Chuy: You lied to me!
Erlich: You thought he was Latino, and I thought I would be racist telling you you're wrong.
Chuy: Come on man, why would you think that? Thinking that, now that's racist.
Erlich: I can't win!
- Dinesh: Why are you typing faster
Gilfoyle: I'm not, maybe my leisurely pace is faster than yours.
Dinesh: Oh, cocksucker!
- [Chuy has changed the logo to show Dinesh in traditional Pakistani clothing and replaced the Statue of Liberty's face with Erlich's face smiling.]
Richard: Wow, this took a lot of work.
Erlich: I mean, I'm already smiling, do you have to paint me giving the thumbs up? It's gratuitous.
Richard: Really, that's the gratuitous part?
- Policeman: You're going to need to paint over this.
Erlich: I don't think the artist would like that, he's Latino. Is that racist?
- Erlich: Dinesh, get in the fucking car! There may be a drive-by about to happen!
- This is the final episode to feature Peter Gregory, as his actor Christopher Evan Welch died on December 2, 2013, although his voice is heard in the following episode.