- " Which one was it? It was church candy, wasn't it? Well you just brought piss to a shit fight you cunt! Now you get in your fucking house and you get me five Adderalls or I will slit your fucking throat! You understand me? I'll kill your mother, I'll rape your father, I'll curb stomp your little face so hard that your teeth will GO FLYING! You'll all shit! Now go, go, go, go!"
- ―Erlich to a group of children
Richard feels threatened when the team hires The Carver, a hacker with a notorious reputation, to help with Pied Piper's cloud. Jared finds himself taken for a ride when he seeks out Peter Gregory's signature. Erlich and Dinesh compete for the attention of Tara, Gilfoyle's visiting girlfriend; later, Dinesh is faced with a sexual dilemma. 
Richard is at the doctor for anxiety, caused largely by his efforts to get Pied Piper done before TechCrunch Disrupt. The doctor says that Richard has aged 40 years in the last seven weeks. Jared and Erlich suggest to him that they bring in some outside help. Richard balks the suggestion, but Jared wants to bring in a young programmer, known as The Carver, whose cloud architecture is supposed to be “insane.”
Jared, Erlich, Richard, and Dinesh go to visit The Carver, who comes off as rather entitled. He says he thought Richard would have been younger. The Carver -- whose name is actually Kevin -- says he can build Pied Piper’s entire cloud architecture in two days. The Carver agrees to come do the work over the weekend.
Gilfoyle’s girlfriend Tara is in town and staying at the Hacker Hostel. Dinesh seems unsettled by the “strange energy” that a girl brings to the house, but one thing is clear: All the guys think Tara is hot.
The Carver comes to the Hacker Hostel and starts working, while Tara stalks around as a distraction. Dinesh thinks that Tara whispered something to Gilfoyle about him, and Gilfoyle tells Dinesh that Tara is attracted to him-- and that he’s allowed to have sex with her if he wants.
After a meeting at Peter Gregory’s, Jared takes a ride home in the mogul’s driverless car. In what seems to be a glitch, the car unexpectedly makes a U-turn and says it’s taking Jared more than 4,000 miles away to Peter Gregory’s private island called Arallon. The car drives itself into a shipping unit with Jared inside and heads off to Arallon on a huge ship.
The Carver continues to work on Pied Piper, which drives Richard nuts. Richard finally asks The Carver for help with data replication, the project he’s working on. Richard goes out to get some snacks and when he comes back The Carver is under the table muttering that he “did it again.” As Richard puts it to Dinesh: “The Carver just carved up our entire platform.” Richard is beating himself up for letting The Carver screw up the system, and the rest of the guys seethe about it, too.
Richard works with Kevin to fix the system, but the kid can’t focus because he doesn’t have any aderall. Jared was supposed to be getting the kid some pills, but no one knows where Jared is. The Carver then admits he can only code for 48 hours straight because he’s on adderall. Richard approaches some kids on the street to see if he can buy adderall from them for $50. The Carver says that the pills Richard bought, in fact, aren’t adderall, and Richard confronts the kids about the mixup. The kid who sold him the drugs slaps him and tells him to “get the f*ck out of here.”
Richard tells Erlich what happened with the kids, and in retaliation, Erlich goes out to the street and slaps the boy and throws his bike in a bush. Erlich demands five aderall pills, and the kid runs off to get the pills.
Diensh approaches Tara to talk about her desire to sleep with him. She seems flabbergasted by what he’s saying, and Gilfoyle admits that he did tell Dinesh that as a joke when he was high. Dinesh is embarrassed, and Tara calls Dinesh “adorable.”
With the help of Kevin, Richard stabilizes the system and tells the kid to never tell anyone he worked for Pied Piper.
Finally, after days of travel, Jared arrives in Arallon, far out in the middle of the ocean.
Main cast Edit
- Thomas Middleditch as Richard Hendricks
- T.J. Miller as Erlich Bachman
- Josh Brener as Big Head
- Martin Starr as Bertram Gilfoyle
- Kumail Nanjiani as Dinesh Chugtai
- Christopher Evan Welch as Peter Gregory (voice only)
- Amanda Crew as Monica Hall
- Zach Woods as Jared Dunn
Supporting cast Edit
- Matt Shea as Satanist Leader
- Austin Abrams as The Carver
- Andrew Daly as Doctor
- Griffin Gluck as Adderall Boy
- Milana Vayntrub as Tara
- Matt Ross as Gavin Belson
- Doctor: I don't know how you did it, but you essentially aged 40 years in the last seven weeks.
Richard: Wow, really?
Doctor: We had a meth addict in here this morning who was biologically younger than you are, and he's 58. Myspace guy.
- Jared: Six months ago, these guys had 35 million and Series B Financing. Now The Carver's here doing teardown.
Dinesh: He's basically moving their carcass to the cloud.
Erlich: Don't touch anything. Failure is contagious.
- Dinesh: Looks like Gilfoyle and his lady Satanist are back from the airport.
Erlich: Can you imagine what kind of shit-show this one's gonna be? He says that she has an Amy Winehouse vibe. What does that mean? All tatted-up and nowhere to go.
Dinesh: Hooked on OxyContin?
Jared: Decomposing? [shakes his head] Oh. Oh, Okay, that was dark.
- Erlich: Are you sure that she didn't ask Gilfoyle for a danish and maybe you misheard her?
Dinesh: You're probably right, she just wanted to fuck a danish.
- Erlich: I'd have sex with that if you hose the Gilfoyle off of her.
Dinesh: It's weird having a girl in the house. There's a very strange energy.
- Dinesh: I'm much more handsome than you are. No, my face is completely symmetrical. You know what my nickname was when I was a kid?
Dinesh: Pakistani Denzel.
- Jared: 'Scuse me, Mr. Carver...
Carver: [Turns around] Huh, yeah, people refer to me as the carver, but no one actually calls me that. It's what people call a screen name. You know, I'm Kevin.
Jared: OK Kevin, we're from Pied Piper and we spoke earlier...
Carver: Guess you guys are fucked, huh?
Richard: No, we're not fucked...
Erlich: Yes, we are totally fucked. We have a live demo in one week and our cloud is in the shitter.
Dinesh: That's accurate.
- Gilfoyle: Do you know what compersion is? It's when someone takes pleasure in seeing their loved one gratified by another person - sexually. It's the opposite of jealousy.
Dinesh: It sounds like it's the opposite of normal.
- DInesh: I should not have eaten all that Satanist chicken.
- According to the DVD commentary, there was an alternate story line where Jared was trying to get Peter Gregory's signature, followed him on a plane, and wound up in Siberia. The scenes were cancelled when Christopher Evan Welch passed away. It was replaced by the story line where Jared gets trapped in the self-driving car and shipped to the island.
- Goof: While in the doctor's office Richard states he learned Ruby on Rails when he was 17. However, tech geeks have pointed out that Richard would have already been 18 when Ruby on Rails came out.
- Goof: When Kevin the "Carver" destroys the Pied Piper platform, many tech geeks wondered why they couldn't just revert the platform to an earlier build. However, in the DVD commentary it was revealed that there was a line cut out of the final dialogue that actually explained why they couldn't revert to an earlier build.
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